I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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