I just saw a hot homeless man
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
