But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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