my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
