before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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