He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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