it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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