The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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