I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
