I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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