Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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