I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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