Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
