Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
