im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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