I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
