Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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