Joe is yelling at the trees again.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
