Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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