I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
