Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
