That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Are we still banned from the library?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
