I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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