Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
