Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
