you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
