i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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