pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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