sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize