Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize