talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
