Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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