Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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