sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
