how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
