The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
