no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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