I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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