the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
