white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
