Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
