How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
