There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
