I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
