It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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