And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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