If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
