Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
