Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
