Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
