You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize