I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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