i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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