How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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