my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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