kristin has been a bad kristin
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
