apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
