I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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