Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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