laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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