he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
