David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
