So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
